More Rumors: Cher Kids in Crisis

For the last month or so rumors have cropped up about Cher having troubles with her children. In March, The National Enquirer (I hate to even legitimize them with italics) printed a story about Elijah Blue relapsing. This week, stories are all over about Cher being in a rift with Chaz. Chaz recently appeared on the show The Doctors after losing around 45 pounds. Stories are up on:

All sites report the same text, tracking it all back to "a source close to Cher," all tabloidishly vague on the details of the fissure. Meanwhile both Chaz and Cher have posted happy pics together. Nothing we read anywhere is conclusive of anything, even coming from Cher. We should probably wait for the next Chaz tell-all to sort things out.

Cherlij  Cherchaz

 


Margaret Thatcher Hashtag Confuses Cher Fans

Cher scholar Robrt sent me this link today: Margaret Thatcher Hashtag Confuses Cher Fans

As I mentioned to him, the headline irks me for two reasons:

  1. Not only fans were confused, and
  2. The headline and article play into the media's idea that Cher fans, particularly Americans it pains to point out, are dumb and entertainment-obsessed. Forget the fact that we do give off this impression for a minute. Did you ever see that story about how certain lawyers were asking jury pools if they were Cher fans...because Cher fans are more gullible:

Howard Varinsky, the jury consultant for prosecutors in the Martha Stewart case, who advises potential jurors be asked who their favorite famous person is. Varinsky told Crowley that a person who chooses Ronald Reagan rather than Cher, for example, might be too smart for defense lawyers to accept in a complex case. “In a case where you have a lot of complex information to process, I think you would want somebody who likes Cher.” Source

Cher fans need to do what that New Mexico liscence plate recommended to me last Thursday, Nerd Up!

#nowthatchersdead -- why are those Brits always so verbose anyway?



Cher on TMC and Fashion Week

HuskeyCher with a husky on her head...and more news from Paris Fashion Week:

- Cher wears a piece of everything in Paris

- Fashion Police excerpt: "Cher was wearing head-to-toe crocodile and a huge fur hat, Fergie had a fur jacket and leather pants. Joan said more dead animals than you would find in the trunk of Gary Busey's car. With Cher wearing old leathery crocodile hide; it is too on-the-nose!"

- Cher stays true to form in flamboyant court jester outfit while in Paris with singer Fergie. Those Pantscheckered pants would look better if Sonny was standing next to her wearing them.

TMC

More information on the TMC Friday Night Spotlights

Friday, April 5 – Motherhood
8 p.m. – Mildred Pierce (1945)
10 p.m. – Stella Dallas (1937)
Midnight – Penny Serenade (1941)
2:15 a.m. – Bachelor Mother (1939)

Friday, April 12 – War Effort and the Homefront
8 p.m. – So Proudly We Hail (1943)
10:15 p.m. – Since You Went Away (1944)
1:15 a.m. – The White Cliffs of Dover (1944)
3:30 a.m. – Three Came Home (1950)
5:30 a.m. – The Best Years of Our Lives  (1946)

Friday, April 19 – Working Women
8 p.m. – His Girl Friday (1940)
10 p.m. – Woman of the Year (1942)
Midnight – Tender Comrade (1943)
2 a.m. – The Devil and Miss Jones (1941)

Friday, April 26 – Women Taking Charge
8 p.m. – The Great Lie (1941)
10 p.m. – Kitty Foyle (1940)
12 a.m. – The Palm Beach Story (1942)
1:45 a.m. – The Women (1939)

Tired old gossip

Gossip columns rediscovered the Cher-Tom-Cruise partnership again this decade and it made headlines in various online spots, including The Huffington Post: "Tom Cruise And Cher Dated? Celebrity Couples That Will Make You Scratch Your Head" and yes, this does mean Cher dated half the cast of Top Gun.

A mini-photo reel of TomCher:

Smiling for cameras....

Craddlerobber

with Nancy Regan. That's Tom on the left cut off.

Nancyregan

Party peoples... 

Chertom
      


Cher Shows & Videos Percolating

Cher's New Logo Show

Rumor is that Cher is involving Chaz as a Producer on the show. But as this rumor is flying from the rag The National Enquirer it's most likely a large pile of hooey.

Cher's New Music Video

CherNews is tracking the tweets and news of the happenings of Cher's new video shoot, including:

 


Winners Announced: Fans Rend Garments

Despair 

 

The winners of last week's Facebook contest were announced and Cher News has been tracking the tweets of joy and the tweets of despair from those fans who did not make the random cut.

 

 

Zombies will be zombies after all. Sadly, they always want flesh.

But seriously, don't the drama queens ruin it for the rest of us. Just like Jessica Lange emoted in the early part of this season's American Horror Story in her Oscar winning Bostonian accent after the inmates abused a good thing, "Movie night is over for the foreseeable futcha!"

Will Cher continue to provide contests if the contestants lose their minds? She certainly doesn't need to.

Interestingly related to this, I've been saving up quotes on fame for my next Cher Zine and I've just found a treasure trove of good Oscar Wilde ones. Yesterdays find is apropos for the situations of these upset fans:

"It is a very unimaginative nature that only cares for people on their pedestals."

I always thought the phrase "get a life" was too harsh and slightly inaccurate. How does one lose a life after all other than to "drop dead." The better encouragement may be, "please start to care about other things."

If you continue to rent the fates for not delivering up your name in a Facebook contest, life is nothing but suffering ahead for you.

Despair2

On the bright side of obsession, one obsessed fan contributed a winning bid of $5,700 to ensure meeting Cher, funds which will go to the Cher Charitable Foundation and the maintenance of the Shikimana School in Kenya. How often is it that nice and needy Kenyans get the opportunity to appreciate Americans for our celebrity obsessions?

 


Cher Scholar Has Been Under the Weather This Holiday Season

CherballI've been missing posting little tidbits of Cher news this whole holiday season! For Thanksgiving, Mr. Cher Scholar and I went to New York City to see The Book of Mormon. When we were sitting in the jam-packed La Guardia airport waiting to fly back to Santa Fe, we both started to feel feverish.

Five weeks later and I'm still not over it. It has morphed from a cold to a flu to a cold again. Although dramatic goings-on at work, spending too much time out in the cold weather, and Christmas shopping and shipping duties didn't help for a speedy recovery, I had no energy left to do much Cher scholarin. Here is a flashback over the end of November and December in Cher Land.

Cher calls for a boycott of Walmart due to their guns sales and the tragic Connecticut shooting of school children. I have already been avoiding Walmart for 10 years due to my mother's boycott of Walmart due to their screwing over workers, small businesses and local economies all while their heirs hoard a huge chunk of American wealth. I think Forbes Magazine said it best: "Six Waltons Have More Wealth Than the Bottom 30% of Americans."

Cher does not appear on the X-Factor finale as reported but goes to Russia instead for a private concert. Stories from Cher World and Cher News:

AirportHere is Cher leaving the airport in LA looking like an ageless hipster:

And Cher in Russia doing Russian things:

Russianhat
   

 

 

 

 

 

 

Theater

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Performing and receiving a crown. That must have been her fee.

India-in-russia Crown

 

 

 

 

Stern 

 

Looking like a stern Russian femme fetale (what a role that would be!) while getting in a limo:

(Click all photos to enlarge)

 

 

 

 

 

Serkis 

 

Cher this month also reported being hot for the character who plays Golem in The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit: Andy Serkus. Here is a picture of him shirtless.

 

 

 

 

 

Cher just released a Christmas Tweet: "Have the best Christmas ever! I know Christmas sucks sometimes - try to do something you like! Watch a movie you like, have a piece of pie, ice cream, pop corn, buttermilk, biscuits or something you love!"

Cher also posted pics of her house decorated for a Christmas party.

Xmashouse  Xmashouse2 Xmashouse3  

 

 

 

 

 


Due to our illnesses, Mr. Cher Scholar and I cancelled our Christmas party and I didn't put up any decorations, which are very similar to Cher's minus the lighting, ceilings, floors, silverware and ginormous trees. Between our lack of festivity, the Connecticut shooting and the sad-sack stories of my co-workers, this made for the most depressing Christmas I've had in years.

I had not read Cher's tweet by yesterday but I inadvertently did something I don't usually do just to cheer myself up: I ate a cheese ball.

Merry Christmas everybody.

I hope the good spirit of cheese balls lives in you this week.

 


Leaks, X-Factor, Val Kilmer and Cher's Sex Cult

ValkilmerUgh. So I said I wouldn't talk anymore about this phantom album of Cher's...but then things blew up last week when a version of a song called "Woman's World" was leaked.

It was 15 seconds of speedy dance Cher-shouting. It was all over for a day or so and has since evaporated.

Cher expressed displeasure.

Queerty.com pooh-pooed that saying Cher had no reason to be upset:

"Unfinished or not, this shit sounds amazing. There’s no better way to start your day/week/the rest of your life than a good ole-fashioned diva comeback single." http://www.queerty.com/cher-leak-womans-world-20121022/

Meanwhile, there's a rumor Cher has been signed to appear on the season finale of X-Factor on December 9. 

ChairAnd Cher tweeted a picture of herself and one-time boyfriend, Val Kilmer (above), after seeing him do his one-man show about Mark Twain called "Citizen Twain" at the Shakespeare Center of Los Angeles. Apparently he had to cancel his second of two shows due to a knee injury. Why didn't he just do Val Kilmer doing Hal Holbrook doing Mark Twain and perform from a chair.

By the way, Mark Twain is my patron saint. I did a photo shoot earlier this year (for an upcoming book) that was an homage to one of Twain's famous photographs:

CultLast but not least, one of the goofiest of Cher tabloid covers appeared this week, Cher Sex Cult Scandal! Torture, Brainwashing, Abuse...Stupid.

On the bright side, the tabloids are still hot for Cher.


Weird News

KgriffCher gives Kathy Griffin Love Advice

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/13/cher-helped-kathy-griffin-find-love-again_n_1424312.html?ref=marlo-thomas&i

"You gotta put yourself in different environments bitch."

That’s actually good advice.

Australian Key to the City Given to Cher Shows Up On Ebay

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/24/cher-auction-adelaide-key_n_1450238.html

Cher tweets “I don’t know what happened” message but this is really stupid non-news. Do you know how many keys to cities float about out there in celebrity land? Cher would need a special storage until for all her city keys I imagine she has. Whether her office f’d up or not: who cares?

Okay, Adelaide Australia seems to care quite a bit. Maybe they feel singled-out because Cher hasn’t sold off or given away her keys to the cities of St. Louis or Albuquerque yet. Surely she has some of those too!

Why are we talking about this again?

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/13/cher-helped-kathy-griffin-find-love-again_n_1424312.html?ref=marlo-thomas&i

Billy Sammeth Talks Smack about Joan and Cher

CherjoanGirls gangin' up!

So Cher's former manager, Bill Sammeth, dishes some dirt in his defense of being fired by both Cher and Joan Rivers. And it's very scandalous stuff.

However, I don't completely buy his story. And honestly, I don't know nuthin' upon nuthin' about Joan and Melissa Rivers so I can almost go there with that drama; but when you compare his story to the events of the Joan Rivers documentary, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work...the timelines just don't jive at all. Plus, he never explains the complaints Joan and other characters had about his prolonged absences that occurred in the documentary. He doesn't address this issue regarding Cher's complaints either.

He says Cher fired him simply because she didn't want to pay him for his share of "Believe" royalties. Did she fire the rest of her staff around that time too? Surely, other employees benefited from all the "Believe" cash.

He also claims she faked Sonny's funeral speech.

Well, Cher is a good actress, I will give her that; but to be blunt, I don't think she's that good...to pull off that tour de force, or be willing to bear being seen doing that unattractive funeral-speech sobbing. Her issues with Sonny were complicated to be sure. But I always go back to the fact that she was calling a truce with him of sorts in her last Rosie Show appearance before Sonny died. The show where Rosie hilariously told Sonny to "sit and spin."

Read Sammeth's story for yourself: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/02/12/billy-sammeth-the-manager-fired-by-cher-and-joan-rivers-tells-his-side-of-the-story.html

And you can't get around the fact that two of his former clients had the same complaint. Never good evidence on you.

When my husband's mother Donna coins a wise saying,  we call that a Donnology. When my mother Estelene coins one, we call that an Esteligism. This is one of my mother's favorite Esteligisms: if everyone disagrees with you...maybe it's you. Maybe.

 


Cher RIP

CherSo! Cher was rumored to be dead.
For like 12 hours.
And no one emailed me.

For the love of God. Not a peep from ANYBODY.

Were we all holding our breaths? I'd like to believe that because, I have to tell you, I was a little put out.

I only learned of the not-death Friday afternoon because cherscholar.com was down for a few days due to a server switch. I was logging into a very popular online mail service to double-check my site's new email addresses and, per usual, I scanned the top-ten online searches while I was loggin in. To my surprise, the number one search at that moment was

"Cher not dead."

What the? Cher is the number one search!! I don't think she's been the number one search term ever...as long as I've been scanning number one search terms anyway. And besides, she's been not dead for 12 hours, from Thursday night to Friday morning. And nobody told me!

The Twitter scam even had another Armenian-celebrity, Kim Kardashian, fooled. And because Kim is one of the nations top five tweeters, the story went off the rails.

Meanwhile, this was not the rending of garments and gnashing of teeth I will come to expect from Cher fans.

In one brief second of comprehending that Cher was not dead, Cher's life flashed before my eyes. Or Cher2rather my life of being a fan of the Cher product and having that icky realization that products do not have mortality, people do. It threatened the death of a comforting obsession for this heterosexually  queer gal; and seeing as I've been a fan since I was four or five years old, it threatened a final death knell to my childhood, something I've managed to hold on to into my 40s.

But...this isn't entirely about me. Cher's friends did not take kindly to the twitter scam. Loree Rodkin posted, “Whoever started that stupid rumor needs to have their face dragged across concrete." Yikes. Imagine Paul McCartney saying that.

Cher was the number one freakin' search term and a Kardashian was embarrassed. It's kind of funny, unless you're Cher I guess.

To celebrate Cher's very aliveness and hopefully resting in peace this evening, I am posting my three favorite Cher photos, which were taken during the Norman Seeff sessions in 1975.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/gossip/2012/01/cher-twitter-hoax-kim-kardashian.html

Cher3

Paul McCartney, Jeff Goldblum and Cher. What an odd-ball rumored-to-be-dead club.