Cher Working on Mother's Day Special
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Why Does Cher Exist? An Intervention

CherfanclubDo you ever wonder why Cher exists? As a fan, does this silly question ever come up in your obsessed head?

There are many types of Cher fans. There's the casual fan, the unquestioning cult-member fan (Cher Zombie), the obsessed collector of Cher product (that would be me). Aside from the casual fan (and do they really count?), the other two can get a little crazy from time to time.

I know a few Cher collectors are getting a bit crazy due to all the delays in new Cher product. Get used to it; she won't be around forever. I hope her family doesn't go all Elvis on us after she's gone and continue to produce Cher lunch pails, Cher singing wall clocks and other facsimiles way into perpetuity.

And I also know some fans are aggrieved that she doesn't ever do their preferred material (I am guilty of this).

Things Cher has deprived the world of include:

  • a torch album
  • a torch tour
  • a country album
  • a Christmas album

Speaking for myself, I'm tired of Cher appearing in half-baked (half-funny) comedies. I'm dying to see her:

  • in a Western
  • playing a villain
  • playing a partial-villain
  • in some profound drama.

Collectors are a different kind of fan. Cher is not my messiah. So I feel I can critique the lazy crap (the video collection, the same song opening three tours, any given video commentary that craps out after 15 minutes).

That said: we all need to face the cold hard facts of life. Cher does not exist to be an object of art in our lives. She's got this thing we call free-agency.

The cold hard facts of life....like Porter Wagoner, who comes home from bowling to find his wife snuggled up on the couch...dressed in some refurbished-hotel bed-spread.

Porter


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