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February 2012
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April 2012

Drew Barrymore is on Team Cher

DrewCher scholar JeffRey posted the following on the Cher Yahoo list from the 23 March issue of Entertainment Weekly where it was announced that Drew Barrymore would be co-hosting Turner Classic Movies with Robert Osborne soon.

She was asked who are her favorite screen sirens of all time. She chose Julie Christie, Faye Dunaway, Jane Fonda, Annette Bening and Cher. This is what she has to say about Cher:

"She's strong and comedic and incredibly brave, but shows vulnerability. I think she's the epitome of rock & roll," says Barrymore, citing Silkwood, Moonstruck, Mask, and The Witches of Eastwick as some of her favorite Cher performances.

Hell to the yeah!


New Old Video

There’s been a surge of cool stuff showing up on the YouTubes. I have a whole list of things to discuss but we can start with these three items:

StaggerleeHere is one of my two favorite Sonny & Cher show duets, "Stagger Lee/Rip it Up" from the early 70s Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour. I love that song "Stagger Lee" and they really do a swell Sonny & Cher version of it. The bright lights, the big stage. It's all good.




Twoofus Sonny & Cher singing "Two of Us/We Can Work it Out" from their 1976-77 The Sonny & Cher Show. I loved this one so much after I saw it again on VH1 or Nick at Nite back in the 1990s, I wrote a poem about it. They look so glamorous and happy. Sonnylook



I love the part where Cher’s earring dives for the deck and Sonny gives her a teasing smile.



Wonderbat1So the following bits are a bit timely of late, seeing as the comedian Gallagher just got out of the hospital. Remember his silly watermelon bashing bit? Well, Cher did that act five years earlier with the Jack-o-matic, the Wonderbat, the Brick-o-matic, the Mug-o-matic. On the Cher Show in 1975, Cher did a recurringly unfunny skit called Donna Jean Brodine showcasing tools for the new housewife which were basically many forms of sledgehammers Wonderbatfor any task. Since this event predates Gallagher’s Sledge-o-matic debut on television by at least five years, why doesn’t anybody mention this? I guess it’s not the kind of comedic bit you want to take credit for. They’re both southern characters doing fake infomercials and even both borrow the “o-matic” trope. 


Lot83027Her outfit for the skit recently sold at Julien's for a whopping $4,500.

Chaz's Birthday Cake Looks Fattening

HappyBirthdayChazCher made some tweet mentions I guess about some recent tabloid un-truths. I know I've seen The Enquirer issue on the stands with an article about how Chaz has gained the weight he lost on both on Celebrity Fit Club and Dancing with the Stars. I don’t know what’s worse, the rumor that Chaz is on the verge of a heart attack or Billy Sammeth’s rumor that Cher hates fat people.

Not to be negative (too late!) but I think it’s hard to change your lifestyle after 40. Chaz has been heavy since young adulthood and like Lindsey Buckingham sings, "you either do or you don’t" or to quote Yoda, "Do or do not...there is no try." It’s endemic of most of America. You can’t single Chaz out.

I was watching the Cooking Channel last week and I saw a commercial aimed at kids for Cuties oranges, followed by a weight loss bar add (with the tag What do you gain when you lose? which I thought was pretty good), followed by an ad equating Lindt’s Chocolates with female sexual pleasure, followed by Jennifer Hudson’s ad for Weight Watchers, followed by another Cuties oranges ad. Now back to the Cooking Channel show that gives us the irresistible urge to cook something fattening. No wonder we’re a food-consuming-confused society.

Full disclosure: I’m 5’7” and I weigh about 157 pounds. So I'm around 15 to 20 pounds overweight in my mind. Not great but not horrible. It’s heredity; my family can eat a ton and not gain too much. And I never put on this extra 20 until I hit 38 years old and my body went all Benedict Arnold on me. But I will say this: food is my addiction. No doubt about it. I think about it all the time. If I let myself, I could be huge.


Cher Tour News and Beaches

Cherlaairport0-200x300Cher News and Cher World have posted pics of Cher's recent appearance at Los Angeles International airport (left).  

Cher News also posted some tour news:

No album news yet, but since the tour is officially starting in September, the album will probably be delayed until near then. Sad face. Cher says most likely the tour will start in Kansas (Cher Scholar Tyler must be very happy!)

I don't know what to feel about this tour business. Of course I love buying tour memorabilia. But my non-Cher-friends are more than mildly irritated about the KISS-like renegation of the plenitude of said farewells. My long-suffering husband will probably go again with me (even if it means traveling to Denver or Phoenix because Albuquerque only hosts has-beens and tribute bands) but I will hear plenty of shame-speech when all my peeps find out about this.

And I can't say it's undeserved. This is one of the hardships of being a Cher fan.

But who can shake a stick at another tour book? Not obsessed me!

I'm glad the opening song will change from "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" (hire a detective already) to "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me." That's somewhat of a bright spot. I hope the song list changes in other ways, too.

I never thought I'd be saying this, but a set of covers would be refreshing about now. I never thought I'd live to see the day of Cher doing one Greatest Hits tour, let alone three (Believe, Farewell, Caesars Palace). I used to pine for that.

But it would be swell if Cher sang some old catalogue tunes, as a nod to the events going on in this primary election (something like "It’s a Man’s World" or "Do Right Woman").

ThumbnailWhen I was 8, I adored Cher’s version of Aretha Franklin's "Do Right Woman, Do Right Man" (if you want a do-right woman, you gotta be a do-right man). I found the song on the first S&C album I ever bought with my own money, The Beat Goes On (a compilation unbeknownst to me). It was 1978 and I was at Record Bar with my defacto bff Krissy and her older brother. I had five dollars and the album was $7.35. Krissy’s brother spotted me the extra dough to get the record. I made my parents listen to it. I remember the night well. It was in St. Louis, the piece of furniture that was our record player taking up a whole wall of our “nice” room, my parents sitting in our “nice chairs.” Mom and Dad were not completely won over but they begrudgingly said they liked "Do Right Woman."

I say defacto bff, because Krissy had another “official” bff, albeit a bff she never played with. I was the constant day-after-day dependable stand-in, a theatrical part I’ve played over and over again in my life with bffs in high school and college. No matter what frustrations my friends have with their “official” bffs, I always feel that someday they will return to them and I will be bff-less.

I’ve tried to believe over the years that this doesn’t bother me. But when I heard about how former Cher-Show-writer Iris Rainer Dart wrote the movie Beaches with Cher in mind, I had to face a painful truth. It did bother me that I was always a stand-in-bff which is why I never wanted to see the movie Beaches. I was jealous of bffs. My bffness made me sad and I avoided the movie and its insipid popularity for decades. In fact, my high school defacto bff, Lisa, even said the movie reminded her of her "official" bff Nellie (Nellie is also my good friend and a very talented showgirl). Nellie couldn’t come to Lisa’s wedding so I was the Maid of Stand-in Honor. Which I was happy to do because I loved my friend Lisa. I wasn’t bitter about it. Just jealous.

I finally forced myself to watch the movie last weekend. And it was awful. Honestly. The performances were awful. The dialogue was awful. My husband left the room it was so awful. I didn’t even find the bff relationship plausible and Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey had no chemistry. It was sort of a relief. Now I can move on. But yeah…Barbara Hershey’s lips plump up half way through the movie. Remember all the brouhaha about that? Those were the days of lip-plumping innocence.

And which part was supposed to be for Cher? I didn’t get Cher playing C.C. Bloom at all.


Bric a Brac News

Cher News reported recently that Gilbert LaPiere, Cher and her sister's one-time stepdad has just passed away in Oklahoma:

Rest in peace, Gilbert LaPiere. Now we know how to spell it everyone. Big P. One r.

Cher World also posted some new pics and an article on Cher's apartment condo in Los Angeles:

I've never had a bathtub in the middle of a room...or one with a writing desk no less. Must papers be signed in the tub? No rest for the wicked, my mother always says.


I hope, on a midnight pee break, nobody hits their head on those hanging lights.


I don't know what the heck this is, a meditation nook?


Very tasteful. But I'd hate to be the guest who spills coffee on it.


Ahh....what celebrity livin' is all about: the view!




An Armenian Poet

268x180_thumb_photo_60136_87fdf30efI'm reading an anthology of Middle-Eastern and Asian poets and I came across a poem by this fellow here, Barouyr Sevag, whose last name does not rhyme with Armenian as I am accustomed to.

But anyway, not only was he an Armenian poet but his deciphering of a type of unending yearning reminded me for some reason of Cher...

The Analysis of Yearning (Garod)

I know the dark need, the yearning, the want,
in the same way the blind man knows
the inside of his old home.

I don't see my own movements
and the objects hide.
But without error or stumbling
I maneuver among them,
live among them,
move like the self-winding clock
which even after losing its hands
keeps ticking and turning
but shows neither minute nor hour.

And dangling between darkness and loneliness
I want to analyze this want
like a chemist
to understand its nature and profound mystery.
And as I try
there is laughter
from some mysterious tunnel,
laughter from an indescribable distance,
from an unhearable distance.

A city sparrow with a liquid song
changes its ungreen life
into music from an unechoing distance,
an unhuntable distance.

And words start hurting me
as they mock, echo from the unhuntable distance,
this merciless distance.

I walk from wall to wall
and the sound of my steps
seems to come from far away
from that merciless distance,
that impossible distance.

I am not blind
but I see nothing
around me, because
vision has detached itself
and reached that distance
that is impossibly far,
excessively far.

I run after myself,
incapable of ever reaching or
catching what I seek.

And this is what is called
want and longing or "garod."

Translated from the Armenian by Diana Der-Hovanessian
(whose last name does rhyme with Armenian)