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August 2010
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October 2010

Things I Do Now That I LIve in New Mexico

So for years my family has roasted chile peppers from New Mexico. But this year I got to visit Chavez Farms myself to pick out my own batch. I got home and roasted them to show my hubbie what New Mexico Pepper Roasting is all about...

Unfortunately he spent most of his time studying in the other room, except for some brief time spent posing with the peppers. That's a look that says, "I'm not going to help you, sweetie."


The Big Jims are big but mild:


The Barkers are very hot:


Some turn red real quick
(please, disregard the cheap vodka bottles in the background):


They are broiled and then frozen and then happily enjoyed.

IMG_3953 IMG_3961

Ask Cher Scholar: Interesting Mix Up

An2 On Monday, September 27, 2010, MIchael wrote:

My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for years. We got into a fight this morning about it. She called me later and told me she heard a Cher song on the radio. The song had something to do with a woman picking up someone on the side of the road just to have a baby with him. Do you know what song she may have heard?


Cher has recorded many unwed mother songs, some sleeping-to-get-ahead songs, and some "take me home" songs, but never, and I mean never, has she recorded a song about picking up a guy at the side of the road for the sole purpose of having a baby. That just accidentally happened in "Gypsys Tramps & Thieves."

But that's not what I answered to Michael. To Michael I said:

"Sorry to hear about the fight with your wife! Hope things are better!! I think you are actually thinking of a Heart song called "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You." The song was written by Mutt Lange which is the guy who was married to Shania Twain (who once did a cover of "Half Breed") but he cheated on her and now they're divorced."
And I left it at that but I have LOTS more to say.

Here are some lyric excerpts:

It was a rainy night when he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella, no coat
So I pulled up along side and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile so we drove for a while

I didn't ask him his name, this lonely boy in the rain
Fate tell me it's right, is this love at first sight
Please don't make it wrong, just stay for the night

All I wanna do is make love to you
Say you will you want me too
All I wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to
So we found this hotel, it was a place I knew well
We made magic that night. Oh, he did everything right
He brought the woman out of me, so many times, easily
And in the morning when he woke all I left him was a note

I told him I am the flower you are the seed
We walked in the garden we planted a tree
Don't try to find me, please don't you dare
Just live in my memory, you'll always be there

Ahem. First of all Mutt Lange is a sexist pig and this is a male fantasy song. Pah-leeese.

Later in the song...

Then it happened one day, we came round the same way
You can imagine his surprise when he saw his own eyes
I said please, please understand
I'm in love with another man

And what he couldn't give me
was the one little thing that you can

Second of all, it's kind of creepy a wife would tell her husband about this song when they have trouble conceiving. What's the point of that? Is she thinking of doing it?

And finally, not only is it lacking in judgement of Mrs. Wife to bring up this song in the middle of a fight about conception issues, but she thought Ann Wilson was Cher. I don't think I've ever heard anybody make this mistake before. She must be a young lass. I mean, in the 80s they both belted out power ballads and all, but their voices are so different. I suppose it's a compliment. Ann Wilson is an amazing singer. And she does wear big black curly hair sometimes.

TV Alert: Bursque Stuff

51D5hFiJmqL__SL500_AA300_ Today, September 30, Cher will be on Entertainment Tonight talking about Burlesque and showing new scenes from the movie.

The CD is also ready for preorder. Get it soon so you can sing along (quietyly) during the movie. The CD comes out November 16.




 The book comes out next week!! Who-hoo!






Poster photo The stands are already up in movie theater in LA (as sent to me by Coolia via iPhone)...very cool!





50473_158207684208932_7600_n And the Spanish poster is out.

NOCHES DE ENCANTO, which literally translated means Night Charm.

Umm...¿Puede alguien explicar que el título de mi?

As you can see, they gave Cher pink eyeshadow and juiced up the color a bit. 

Burlesque Promotion Heats Up & Xtina Fans Are Talking

Cherburlesquenew Burlesque is busy promoting itself two months out. Some say an onslaught of early promotion is a bad sign...for a bad movie. But we shall see.

Apparently a short commercial was seen on Glee(check your YourTubes). Cher also was featured in an Elle Magazine online list "The Elle-25" on August 30 with the picture below:

In a year of head-hanging cultural low points (we’re looking at you, Jersey Shore), ELLE presents the 25 best reasons to keep the faith—from the year’s must-hear genre-busting albums to Cher’s showstopping return to celluloid. (We’ll fist pump to that!)


She gave us indelible performances in ’80s flicks Moonstruck, Mask, and Silkwood.Cherelle

Now Oscar-winning triple threat and grande dame of camp Cher is back on celluloid as the tough-broad owner of a musical revue nightclub in November’s Burlesque. Belting out a racy number in a sequined bustier with enough screen presence to upstage all the pretty young things in fishnets (including Christina Aguilera and Kristen Bell), Cher’s mama hen nabs the movie’s best lines and flaunts the biggest hair.—R.R.

I was confused by an Aquilera fan's comments and thought this piece was actually an article in the latest magazine but I wasn't able to find it. I could only find these online versions:

Scrolling list on Elle's website:

Full list on one page:

Christina Aguilera fans had this to say about the coverage and photo:

We'll see about upstaging Christina 

fierce. she looks like elvira.

Lahv lahv lahv/

That picture looks like something out of Moulin Rogue.

On the website it says the photo is courtesy of where you can pre-order the companion book that comes out October 5th. I wonder if we'll be getting a sneak preview soon.  I ordered my copy!

[Website actually says: "Photo: Stephen Vaughan SMPSP/© 2010 Screen Gems Inc." but I ordered my copy too...except I ordered two copies.]

Omnicient one says: Thank God Cher is in this. I wonder how much press they would have gotten without her.

I'm kinda concerned that Christina hasn't done anything for it yet. Cher's been in EW, Elle, now Vanity Fair, at the VMA's. 


Screencap TeamTESS on Facebook is also starting to post screenshots from the movie. Is Cher on fire in that scene?


In other news, a writer at Huffington Post was happy Cher bared some ass at the VMAs last week:

Hooray for Cher! If She's Got a Booty Worth Baring at 64 -- Then Bare Away!

I say -- if Cher has still got a toned bootylicious body to die for, why shouldn't she flaunt it, just like she did twenty-four years ago when she first wore a version of this Bob Mackie-designed glittery getup? Listen, even 24 years ago her body was astonishing for a woman who was then 40. THAT, was a jaw-dropper at the time!

Last Weeks’s Outfit Wars

Cherladygaga3Cher presented the final award of the night at MTV's Video Music Awards.

According to:

Cher praised Lady Gaga's "meat" outfit a day after she presented her with the MTV Video Music Award for Video of the Year for "Bad Romance", adding that the pop singer's purse, made out of the same material, was "genius."

"Loved doing VMA's!" Cher wrote on her Twitter page. "Lady Gaga rocked it. Meat Dress was So INTERESTING Up Close. The way it was cut & fitted to her body was AMAZING! Meat purse was genius! As Art piece it was astonishing! No moral Judgement!"

Lady Gaga won 8 little trophies Sunday night and made a few dramatic costume changes, which I think was overkill but then I think everything about Lady Gaga is overkill. And she's less interesting to me than Paloma Faith, who is doing similar theatrics.

Cherladygaga2 One of Gaga's dresses did cause a stir, her meat dress and purse ("I never thought I'd be asking Cher to hold my meat purse"...well, who would?). Apparently a similar "meat bikini" worn on Vogue caused a ruffle from PETA. Lady Gaga is allegedly a vegan so I don't know if that was a statement of some kind's more of the vague, over-emotive-yet-emotionless overkill I come to expect from LG.

But seems LG claims she wore meat to protest "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Lady Gaga arrived at the ceremony in Los Angeles on Sunday with several members of the U.S. military to protest the long-standing "Don't Ask, Don't tell" policy, which was recently overturned in California. "It is a devastation to me that I know my fans who are gay, who feel like bad kids, they feel like they have oppression, government oppression on them," she told Ellen Degeneres on her talk show following the ceremony, which saw her win eight awards. "That's actually why I wore the meat tonight."

Chergaga Huh?

Okay, I fully support bringing gay military to the event to protest Don't Ask, Don't Tell. You have me there...but trying to rationalize that with duct tape to your meat dress...makes no sense and is PR junk in my ear.

LG said about the dress:

"However, it has many interpretations, but for me this evening ... If we don't stand up for what we believe in and if we don't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And I am not a piece of meat."

I guess everything has so many can always throw that asinine comment into the argument. But truth be told, some interpretations are stupid.

No judgment.

Cher, also known for her wild outfits, had appeared at the MTV Video Music Awards wearing a black bodysuit she wore more than 20 years ago in her 1989 music video "If I Could Turn Back Time", which was seen as risque when it premiered.

Anyway...for the best outfit of the week, I am voting for Zozobra, the marionette they burned last Thursday night in Santa Burning Man but on a smaller scale.

It was just the enormity of the outfit and the fact it got torched at the end of the that's entertainment!






Okay, now don't get me started on how big that Cher wig is.


Speaking of Cher Tweets

TweetspicDo you think Cher wears faux-furs when she tweets? What do you think Sonny would tweet? Are you following the Cher tweets? I wonder if an autobiography can be strung from twitter tweets.

I decided to read all the tweets through from 11 September 2010 back to the first tweet 4 May 2010 and do what a good Cher scholar
would do and categorize them.


There are 3 tweets about twitter, for example:

“Thank you to our 10,000th Apple Ping fan and to our soon to be 25,000th Twitter follower”

ugh…those numbers hurt my head.

“My friend said I was tweeting “ANGRY STUFF”

“Is “ANGRY STUFF” a FELONY or MISDEMEANOR? Does this mean im gonna do hart Time in
Twitter Hell?

18 Tweets about work, for example:

Leavin LV head’n 2 the Bu! Gotta get home pick out gazillions a clothes etc! 4 Burlesque Photo shoot on 2nd!

“Worked till the WEE hrs Of the a.m. doing photo shoot 4 Burlesque

I think it might b really great!! But ya never know I worked my Ass off & loved every 6 inch heel wearing min!!!

“Burlesque POSTER is absolutely the COOLEST one I’ve EVER been on! Lucky Me! Almost 100 &
STILL Doing what I love”

I wish she'd stop saying she's almost 100 already! It’s making Me feel OLD.

11 Tweets about Cherities
20 Tweets about Beauty
6 Tweets about Vacation
3 Tweets about Ron Z.

3 Tweets on Cher History

I love these b/c they showcase what an amazing life she's had in the business.

Heard Joni Mitchel’s Court & Spark We were friends while she was recording it & she would play riffs
bout 3ish am after coming home

From studio! The lyrics r amazing & Joni is a great artist! Gettingolder as an artist is hard! U still have the
love & the need

& the ART has NO IDEA How Old the Artist is!

3 Tweets about Life and Spirituality

Pema Chodrom books lifesavers for me! Keep 2 mini ones in my purse! My Rinpoche says I’m “Hard
case” he’s right!


Sometimes it’s just better to go to bed & try again tomm!

6 Tweets that might be about politics…they are vague so I’m not really sure

and 5 Completely Mystery tweets (and again these might cross over with politics)

God Bless the South

Songs Cher Should Cover: Goodbye by Free

Freechronicles I have too much junk. Moving from house to house really weighs you down with all your crap. So I'm trying to purge some of the trash to garage sales, to charity and to the round filing cabinet in small amounts.

I found I had three boxes of cassettes the other day. I can barely play them. My boombox cassette deck broke and I sold my cassette component three garage sales ago. Alls I have (as they say in Missouri) is one little cassette walkman to play them on and when I play this thing I feel like I'm listening to an old record player with earmuffs on.

But listen like I have earmuffs on is what I have to do because I'm going thru them all, about a zillion mix tapes I made, my friends made, my Dad gave me, to see what is worthy of re-buying on iTunes. Happily, I found some old Free I used to like back in the early 90s (and Free was already 20 years old by then!)

I think their song "Goodbye" is awesome duet material. I used to think it was about a love relationship going sour, but I now believe it's about old friendships coming to an end and sad riffs that hopefully may someday separating, posse members falling away…that melancholy stuff.

The lyrics are great (excerpted below) and the song has a solid late-60s/early-70s rock sound.

Goodbye, I hope we meet again
Is this how it's got to end?
we've come to the end of our road together
Made a stand that's gonna last forever
Brother tell me, what you're gonna do?

Will you take the high road?
Will you take the low road?
Will you take the fast train out of town
To get back home?

We learned a lot from each other
That's how we came to be brothers
Brother won't you tell me what your problem is

Don't waste your time on hate
It can be used in better ways
Remember the time and better days

Will you take the high road?
Will you take the low road?
Oh brother, you're out on your own
Out on your own, out on your own
Out on your own

The Old and New Ways of Celebrity Gossip

Cher+Goddess+of+PopIt aint easy being a Diva. Sometimes I need to lie down.

These two stories that follow are perfect illustrations of the diverging ways of old celebrity gossip and new celebrity gossip.

The first story showcases old-school gossip with Liz Smith. Although I think old school gossip columnists are usually more humane and star-friendly, they don't seem to have a grasp anymore of what is really interesting. Smith has such sleepy material and gets excited over things that don't interest me.

Allegedly, the two Liz's (Gossip Queen Smith and Publicist Rosenberg) were doing lunch when Cher called Rosenberg and Smith grabbed the phone to catch this "scoop":

“WELL, LIZ … I’m not really the star. It’s Christina Aguilera’s movie. But, I’m, you know – pivotal. Me and Stanley Tucci are the meat of the thing. But I’m not the star.”

Smith tries to trap Cher into admitting she's really the star of the movie and Cher accuses Liz of being Hedda Hopper, an even older-school gossip professional.

Read the whole thing here:


These days most kids get their untruths, halftruths and scandalous scoops from nameless, faceless Internet "news" sites:

In a recent story about Cher meeting her men on Facebook, Chelsea Traille, (who plays Coco in Burlesque), is quoted as saying:

“Cher walks in like a rock star,” she said. “She had rock star jeans with leather crosses, hair flowing. She’s fierce. Her body is bangin’. Her waist is tiny. She’s a yoga master. We were all like, ‘What do you do?” and she said, ‘Yoga.’ ”

Read the whole thing here:

Which scoop is more interesting to you?


TV Alert: Cher on VMA Tonight!

MainmanCher will be presenting on MTV's Video Music Awards tonight live.See more info at Cher World:

Remember when Cher sang "Main Man" on the VMA's back in 1988, twenty-two f-ing years ago!


Here were all the performers that night:

   1. Rod Stewart - "Forever Young"
   2. Jody Watley - "Some Kind of Lover"
   3. Aerosmith - "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)"
   4. Elton John - "I Don't Wanna Go On With You"
   5. Bobby McFerrin - "Review of the Balloting Rules & Regulations"
   6. Depeche Mode - "Strangelove"
   7. Crowded House - "Better Be Home Soon"
   8. Michael Jackson - "Bad"
   9. Cher - "Main Man"
  10. Chubby Checker & Fat Boys - "Louie, Louie" / "The Twist"
  11. Guns N' Roses - "Welcome to the Jungle"
  12. INXS - "New Sensation"

I....feel...old. But on the bright side, Cher out-lasted Guns N' Roses and INXS.  And Rod Stewart is barely hanging in there.

You can never count Aerosmith out, especially considering all those Blockbuster Soundtracks there are in the world left to do. I wonder if we would have been seeing Michael Jackson on this year's award show had he not passed away last year.

And I bet you will see tonight that jinormous earrings are back in town. It's almost like those 22 years never happened.

Burlesque, Album and Boy Assets!

Burlesque poster What a great time to be a Cher fan, huh? With posters like that?

This will look great next to the Tea with Mussolini poster!

And the trailer is up on the youtubes! How fun!

On my last night in LA, I got together with my bffs and we watched Witches of Eastwick on Blu-ray. I took the opportunity to show them the trailer...and I have to be honest, they hated it, thought it was full of cliche.

But very excited about it.

She's also still tinkering with her album:

“It really won’t be Believe-ish,” she says. “It will be more…I don’t know how to say it. I can’t put a genre to it. It’s a little bit more real instruments, like guitars and stuff like that.” Don’t get too excited Cher fans: the singer admits she’s still very early in the recording process.

Says Cher, “I just got some of the songs and I’m just learning [them] so I’m kind of at that beginning stage where you’re taking baby steps.”

And...and...we got to see Cher out on the town with her exciting! I like this guy.