Elton John Is Top Gay Icon
Even Stars Feel Weather

My Cher Fantasies

Barry-manilow So I don’t have fantasies of hanging out with Cher like most of my other straight female Cher fans (all five of us). Because when I try it, it never ends well. In those types of fantasies Cher and I would disagree over everything, like why we have to go shop for shoes all the time; or I would egregiously bore Cher with my whining about shopping for shoes all the time; or Cher gets cross at me for the lame shoes I’m wearing (pretty much my Keens every day, with flip flops on special occasions). So these hanging-out-with-Cher fantasies are not fantasies that are useful to me in any way.

My fantasies involving Cher, going back to when I was eight years old, do involve Cher doing duets with other people I am celebrity obsessed with. I know this seems like a very narrow type of fantasy situation in terms of possible plots…but it does keep me entertained on rainy days, of which today is one.

My first childhood Cher fantasy, after imagining Sonny & Cher getting back together in dramatic soap opera scenarios, was my fantasy of setting up Cher with Barry Manilow. Now I know what you’re thinking. Spare me, please. I NOW KNOW WHAT A BAD IDEA THIS WAS. Inconceivable (and yet I did conceive it), ridiculous…but you imagined it for a minute, didn’t you. And now you’ll never be able to get that out of your brain’s data bank now.

But let’s move on.

Last week I had a fantasy that Cher and John Waite would unite to record a cover of Elbow’s awesome song “One Day Like This.”

And I just wanted to share that with you.

Jimmydeanpartee sent me his Cher poem he mentioned last week in a comment and I hope he doesn’t kill me for posting it here. But I think this very fine Cher poem goes a long way toward showing that JDP and I are sharing thoughts in some weird way about both Zen Buddhism AND the discomforts involved in hanging out with Cher.


What if we met
on a lone beach
your malibu digs....
And sat on a BIG rock.
Would we
have something
talk about???
I think
we would be
And breathe.



Thank you for publishing my
poem... when do i get my first royalty check??? :)

i feel the same way you do about meeting the "real cher." i think it would lessen or even destroy my love affair with "CHER."
and that would be a sad moment...

there have been times in the
past when i lived in CA and
came very close to having those opportunties. And as
well, was at events where either her people or her family members were in attendance... I never approached them...though everyone else did and my friends there were hounding me: "go over there; don't you know who that is?"
i just thought: but why?
i have no desire to approach
the other people here. Therefore, i should not be approaching these people either. It would not be "real."
Mary, i want to know more about Zen Buddhism. Where should i start?
i know Natalie goldberg and
Anne Lamott are very ZEN-like in their books...


Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been saved. Comments are moderated and will not appear until approved by the author. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


Post a comment

Comments are moderated, and will not appear until the author has approved them.

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)