I Found Some Blog...by Cher Scholar

Cher Zombies Unite

We've made a lot of wedding planning progress over the weekend. My bf and I met with the caterer about our food options--I was looking for some warm comfort foods like soups and squashes seeing as our event will take place in an old library in the fall. We also found a do-able rehearsal dinner space (which has been vexing us--our favorite Mexican restaurant was too ho-hum about hosting a smaller party so we switched to a chain place--not ideal for food but should work well). And my friends Julie and Christopher and I found a great dress for my Maid of Honor on Monday--although we still might keep looking around. I also went thrift shopping with my friend Natalie and found some nifty trinkets to display on the old library shelves.

But now I really want to talk to you about a serious topic.

Cher Zombies.

Earlier this year on the Cher list someone was getting their usual verbal ass-kicking for daring to criticize her new show. This happens all the time, whenever anyone expresses dismay at a Cher activity or product, be it the auction, the new show, the false stops on the farewell--even folks who have build shrines to her on other days will get sold for scrap on the day they say something negative about Cher. I wrote a letter back sympathizing with both sides (as an artist it sucks to be second-guessed all the time but as a consumer you need to have judgments in order to sort out your world). But I stated that becoming a obsessive loyalist would not make you a fan but a Cher Zombie (and fanatical danger to your society).

This phrase was taken up humorously as a badge of honor by both sympathizers to my point and those who disagreed with me. A few on the list started signing their posts Cher Zombie including "the Texas Cher fan" Terry Stout (is there only one Texas fan?) Terry also started a more adult-content Cher fan list called Cher Zombies.

Now he’s gone and made this awesome shirt which cost him over $500 for rhinestones and letterings. He said it weighs a ton.

I really hope Cher Zombies takes off like Betteheads and Parrotheads.

(btw, I went to a Jimmy Buffet show last week and again this one of the most violent party concerts I’ve ever been to outside of mosh pits--a dangerous drunk happy mob!)

  

Cher Signs

I am drawn to this and yet so very repelled by it at the same time.

Your celebrity obsession needs some restraint and should not spill out into your parking spaces, not to mention the very undemocratic idea of parking-space segregation.

Also, Mary Poppins says some outdoor time alone...away from your celebrity obsession is probably a healthy thing.

To buy your own:
http://www.amazon.com/CHER-PARKING-sign-street-music/dp/B00095LY42/ref=sr_1_21?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1232128870&sr=8-21

The OCFC

I joined the Cher fan club and lived to tell you about it. It was $25.

By the way, I was a member during the inaugural year of this club back in the late 90s and you got a folder in the mail back in those days -- which I still have. I can’t remember what they charged…maybe $15? Total guess. Years later I also bought the late-70s Cher fan club packet on eBay. I have no idea who ran that club but I loved that it was this kit in the mail with a letter from Cher, a poster and these official-like documents. I love the secret nature of official fan clubs and start to want it to get all CIA with dossiers, passports, ID Cards (Barry Manilow’s fan club actually had those), and local meetings to discuss affairs of the Cher state.

I enjoyed reading the official newsletters in the mail so I’m wondering how a web-style organization will feel. So far, I like the little touches on the site like the floating butterflies on the secret members-only submenu. On the downside, those frames get really screwy if you use your back button (usability issues – it’s my bag.)

And I actually read the user agreement before signing up – which as a normal person I normally wouldn’t do. But this is a fan club so I was interested to see how much of a legal binding agreement I was getting myself into. The thing was 20 printed pages – longer than wedding reception contracts I’ve seen – by like 18 pages!

We’ve come a long way, baby, from that pink one-sheet sign-up in 1977.

Angst in Vegas (Concerts and Conventions)

I’ve been reading the latest fan posts on Chergroups and the tiny bit of the Cher.com user forum in search of posts of good times at last week’s Cher convention (which I did find, btw.) Things they loved were seeing the new costumes of the impersonators and catching up with everyone.

However, a few fans who attended the actual Vegas Cher shows last week expressed their disappointment with the show. One fan posted this version of Steve Friess’ review from May, a much more passionately negative review than the one I had read and quoted from in my Vegas show synopsis. It was interesting to read another version of it.

I do agree with Steve on this point (among others), the Cher Vegas show will most likely not change for our opinions and fantasies. Just like the Farewell Tour didn’t change in so many years, except by getting shorter. As I see it, what sells goes – the circus provides endless huckstering income. As has been said once so eloquently before, “You got to have the one and only...genuine, super-fine, Sunshine Sonny’s Elixir!"

“How much does it cost, this stuff?
Lady, what’s in your purse is good enough.”

I myself exuded a chortle of disgust at this post  - all the alleged retooling apparently resulting in...(gasp!) one new outfit. Well, one new costume is not a press release and is hardly worth another pilgrimage to Mecca.

Then there was the 2008 Cher Convention. There was a squabble on Cher.com when everyone got their neck fur in a ruff about the other Cher fan-fete, The Cher Expo. Someone associated with the Expo was accused of slyly hatin' on CherCon. A few years ago CherCon was accused of shutting out volunteer help from the Expo peeps.

The Expo is basically new and started running on odd years out on the east coast whereas the CherCon’s runs on even years and has been mostly westcoast/southwest. CherCon has put on five conventions total, three in Las Vegas, one in Los Angeles and the inaugural in Chicago.

As a former CherCon worker-bee, I have tried hard to stay out of the fray. I love the idea of conventions and I generally feel the more the better, right? But my own particular fantasies of a convention always involve an interview with Snuff Garrett and a gay-pride parade hosted by Ru Paul. So far, the Expo and CherCon have failed to be that off da hook. Which is not to say they don’t work hard for their events. Truly, Cher-fetes are life-consuming events. And they are great peoples. I love the CherCon peeps and have had many good times at the Convention. But I had more fun attending than volunteering. Why? There’s entirely too much chaos surrounding those three convention days for my obsessively organized brain. And then there’s always been trouble getting the word out about the event (as again reported this year when Caesars' own concierge and workers in the Cher store didn’t even know about the Cher Convention occurring under their own roof. The problem is publicity and for for a by-your-bootstraps kind of an event like this, it takes a type of aggression, a terrier doggedness of a publicist beyond the skills and pay-grades of the available and willing pool of helpers.

I’ve never been to the CherExpo, but I would go if I had the funds to do so. Because variety is the spice of life and you can always learn about different ways of celebrating Cher, even though it would seem she’s not too enthused about being celebrated by a bunch of Cher nerds in this way.

Bottom line is throwing conventions is hard work and no one should be disrespected for hosting one. Both fan gatherings have their pros and cons. Save your ire for the Cher show set list, which seems to have been chiseled in stone by Moses himself and will soon be made into a movie entitled The Neverchanging Setlist, staring The Edgar Winter Dog (pictured above) as the dragon who flies fans to the Cher show in a doomed land called Fantasia.
   

Cher Fan's CDs, Stereo Seized and Destroyed for Waking the Neighbours

This was big news last week for some reason. And then follow up news that the victim was upset to be characterized as a Cher fan. I don’t quite know what to say about this. I’m speechless.

My Whereabouts

The Cher Fanclub is back up (sort of) after a few years of going dark. A week or so the site said it was only open to past members for the time being and I must admit, I feel a little shut out, like a second-class Cher-citizen, as it were.

Now the Join page says “sign up today” but there’s no link, only a button that says “instant enrollment coming soon.” But to clarify: soon is not today. In other words, join today, but not today... soon. Capiche? The site's frames are very complicated and heavy to load. But still...I’m ready to plunk down my $25 smacks a year as soon as someone...returns.. to the register. http://www.officialcherfanclub.com/

This week the 5th Cher Convention happened in Las Vegas this week at Caesars Palace to coincide with the current block of Cher concerts. I haven’t seen any Cher group posts about it yet but initial newspaper reports say there was a low turnout and Cher didn’t show. You can lead a Cher Convention to Cher...

It’s hard to be a super-Cher fan sometimes. It really is. But as Cher has proved recently, her show is selling out amongst American hoards. She don’t need no stinkin’ superfans. Sigh.

Lots of links happened last week. More later as I settle back in to my life! Not to be melodramatic about it but I’ve had a rough two weeks. Where the hell have I been? I was on jury duty (with loud court-disturbing coughing bronchitis no less) and when I got home was too exhausted to even type out a distress message to y’all about where I been.

Imagine Cher Scholar driving to a criminal courtroom in the Compton area of Los Angeles for a gang trial with intent to sell cocaine allegated, a defense attorney who looks and talks like Yeardley Smith and a prosecutor who looked like Tyra Banks. A petite and pretty Japanese-American judge who proceeded at the speed of frozen molasses. Imagine a deliberation scene somewhat like 12 Angry Men. An acquittal struggling to happen: 4 to 8, then 9 to 3, then 11 to 1, then 11 to 1, then 11 to 1. Almost a hung jury until the white Redondo Beach juror releases a angry fist of his racial-profiling-prejudices against the face of a melting pot of peer pressure.

It was stressful but I learned a lot. Did you know the Bloods wear St. Louis Cardinal and Boston Red Sox gear cos it’s red?

In the Cher-meanwhile, my bfs co-worker gave him an article to give to me with some fabulous pictures of Cher’s live show in full-spread-out color. The article is about how her stage and effects were built. The magazine is Live Design and the issue is August 2008. I have no idea where one would get a copy of one’s own. Start with http://www.livedesignonline.com/ and have a good, healthy, stress-free, jury-duty-free weekend.

Cher Tossled

I will be on a two-week hiatus from I Found Some Blog in order to work on a family reunion and my parents’ 50th Anniversary shindig. If I come back sane, I’ll tell you all about it. There is a chance we may never speak again.

So it’s a bummer that my last pre-hiatus post has to be about Cher fans behaving badly. Well, who knows if this arrested guy in the news was even a real Cher fan. He claimed his parents worked for S&C or something as he was grabbing at Cher’s hips at Tootsies Orchid Lounge, a famous honky tonk in Nashville. Yes, the man was plastered so who even knows what kind of a 'Cher fan' he was sober. And frankly, I think only sober fans should count.

There was a lot of fans behaving badly last week. Paparazzi (who are ultimately working on behalf of pop-culture junkies or fans in general) were attacked by surfers in Malibu. Could it be that the LA public is finally taking charge of an issue the authorities have been struggling over for too long?

Apparently photographers were at the beach stalking Matthew McConaughey and some local surfers got angry and pummeled a few of them. Here’s the LA Times story about it.

But the real story here is that paparazzi anger many more people in LA than the celebrities they stalk. The unfamous also feel the strain. A friend of mine from Larchmont recently reported that one day she couldn’t get from her car to her own apartment building as the paparazzi swarm wouldn’t let her pass on her own sidewalk. She had to bully her way through. Then when she reached her front steps she found them sitting there smoking on them. Who were they stalking? Lindsey Lohan on a movie location.

Articles about Cher in Nashville and the arrest are all over:

CherCON 08

CherCon is coming with some new auction prizes of note. Below is the official press release:

Cher Convention 2008
The Ultimate Cher Odyssey
Caesars Palace Las Vegas
August 11-12

Pre-Concert and After-Concert Dance Parties With Non-Stop Entertainment
Grammy Nominee: Pepper Mashay. Musician: Frank D. Wright. MC: Wayne Smith, and One of the Largest Gatherings of Cher Impersonators in the World.  Many Other Celebrity Impersonators of: Celine Dion, Elton John, Bette Midler, Sonny, Rod Stewart, and Laverne.

Live Charity Auction by Juliens Auctions
Including 2 Tickets to Cher's September 27th Concert, and Meet and Greet with Cher, and 2 Night Stay at Caesars. And an Autographed Guitar from Musician Frank D. Wright.

Cher Impersonator Show, Cher Seminar, Cher Game, Cher Museum, Cher Music, Cher Videos, Cher Karaoke Contest, Dance Contest, Awards Ceremony, Silent Auctions, Cocktail Parties, Rare Cher Memorabilia, Vendors Including StarWares Collectibles from LA.

Cher fans of all ages and from all over the world are invited to the 16,000 sq ft Tiberius Ballroom at Caesars Palace to celebrate the multi-talented Cher!

August 11th   9 PM-2 AM  The Pre-Concert Dance Party
August 12th  11AM-5 PM  The Convention
August 12th   9 PM-2 AM  The After-Concert Dance Party

All 3 Events - $110 per person in advance, $140 per person at the door. To Pre-Register go to www.CherConvention.com.

Caesars Palace Special Convention Room Rate $159 per night, For Reservations go to
http://www.harrahs.com/CheckGroupAvailability.do?propCode=CLV&groupCode=SCCCA8.

All proceeds go to the Children's Craniofacial Association
Cher is the National Spokesperson. She became involved after her award winning performance in the movie 'Mask', in which she played the mother of a boy born with a severe facial disfigurement.  CCA provides support to children born with facial deformities.  www.CCAKids.com.

Registration Contact: Jill Gorecki
Email: JGorecki@ccakids.com

Media Contact: Kim Werdman
Email: KimWerdman@CherConvention.com
  

Meet Cher! And Other Opportunities for the Obsessed

Apparently, Cher was spotted at Foxtail restaurant in West Hollywood this week. Now don’t go looking for those pictures the crazy paparazzi take. Just be content in the knowledge that you now know where she was for 30 minutes one day of the year in 2008. A real knuckle-brained, celebrity-obsessed thing to do would be to actually go there and pretend you were actually having dinner there with Cher. Honestly, that’s exactly the type of activity I don’t recommend. Hey, I’m just doling out some tough love for you right now...because I essentially see the I Found Some Blog as a support group environment – deep down.

A better use of your celebrity obsessed dollars would be to try to win a charity auction where you could actually meet Cher backstage. And by participating you’ll be providing a community service to a charity, which as we discussed last week might just offset the side-effects of too much celebrity obsession, which in its pure form, helps no one.

Here’s the press release:

MEET CHER BACKSTAGE AT HER LAS BEGAS SHOW ON SEPTEMBER 20, 2008!": This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you and a companion to enjoy Cher during a live performance at her Las Vegas show at the Colosseum at Caesar's Palace and meet her backstage. This fantastic package also includes coach class airfare for two aboard JetBlue AND two night's accommodation that weekend at Caesar's Palace.

AUCTION CLOSES: Jun 24, 2008 12:14:00 PM

FOR MORE INFORMATION: Visit charitybuzz. com

PROCEEDS FROM THE EVENT WILL BENEFIT: The Jorge Posada Foundation, a non-profit organization established by the New York Yankees' All-Star Catcher, Jorge Posada, and his wife, Laura. Proceeds will help the foundation reach out to families in need, whose children are affected by Craniosynostosis, and provide them with emotional support through its family support network; provide financial assistance to underwrite a portion of the costs of initial surgeries in its partner medical centers; and encourage further research of this medical condition. The Foundation also strives to create awareness about the condition through events and through funding other educational outreach efforts.

Direct Link: https://auction01.charitybuzz.com/secure/viewItemDetail.do?auction_item_id=743030

This week we had a financial setback and we think we may have to postpone the wedding for a year. This actually takes me out of the meeting-Cher-via-auction business. But that’s not so much my bag really. Anyway, even though our party-plans have now moved from a boil to a simmer, I’m still on the look-out for some Cher 70s-era dance tracks. This week, the remix of Dark Lady appeared here: http://bcubsmusic.blogspot.com/2008/06/cher-dark-lady.html

The remix is compressed on that site and I couldn’t extract it myself but apparently you can download a free trial version of WinRAR to do this: http://www.rarlabs.com/.

And here’s a celebrity-obsessed project I can fully endorse: creating your own fan-art - be it functional fan-art like purses made of record-albums or classic fan-art like Cher paintings or even Cher-doll-art. This crafty fan has recreated the outfit from Cher’s Caesar’s poster for the newer Cher doll.

By the way, JimmyDean recently suggested I use this dress as my wedding dress prototype.  But I kind of prefer this dress at the top as a prototype. Do you have any other suggestions?

And collecting ancient Cher artifacts is another Cher-obsessed activity that’s harmless in small doses. You can find even more Chertiques at this new trading site: http://www.ioffer.com/search/items/cher/text_pics/ioffer/0/false

Go crazy kids! Can someone loan me a dollar for a lottery ticket?

  

Politics and Celebrity Obsession

There are two peripheral subjects I’d like to talk about this week.

For one, during my morning radio this week, the movie Moonstruckwas featured prominently. Apparently a New Yorker named Harriet was thrown out of the Democratic Party’s Rules and Bylaws meeting last weekend (the one regarding the Florida and Michigan delegates) for refusing to stop sounding like Olympia Dukakis in Moonstruck. The Stephanie Miller Showkept doing funny between Harriet’s “you’re throwing the election away and for what..?” with Cher’s Moonstruck-mom’s “Your whole life’s goin down the toilet.” Then they’d do the Cher drop “Snap out of it.”

For the record, Cher was supporting Hillary. I liked her reasoning: men have mucked it up for too long. However, I have been supporting Obama because every time Hillary gives a speech or makes an argument in a debate, she talks with the same spin that makes me crazy when the Republicans do it. I know Hillary is supposed to be a great gal behind the scenes; I know Obama and Hillary have basically the same platforms; I know Obama could be a slick as slick is, too, just like any other politician and not the wonderkind we're all making him out to be. But I have more respect for the campaigns he’s run thus far, including his civility under fire, his financial acuity with his fundraising, and his leadership with his staff.