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September 2012
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November 2012

Cher Scholar Wrote a Book

BlogsizecoverCan you believe it? Cher Scholar got something done besides Cher Scholarin'. And it wasn't easy, I tell you. But I loved the experience of doing this and more books are on the way.

Dear Cher friends, if you want to take a chance on some poetry and you like occasional deep thoughts about space exploration and new frontiers, then this might be a fun read for you.

Seriously, as poems go, these have the same humor and accessibility you've come to expect from Cher Scholar. You won't find no stinkin' experimental brain teasers herein.

And it's priced to be affordable for the average Joe or Jolene.

Why Photographers Commit Suicide
by Mary McCray (2012)
Trementina Books
ISBN 0985984503
87 pages/8 illustrations by Emi Villavicencio      
9x6/paperback and eBook

Paperback $13.00  Buy
Kindle $2.99  Buy
Other eBook formats $2.99  Buy

If you like it, please tell your friends about it, give it as a Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa gift or feel free to drop me a line or leave your comments on the book's Amazon or Smashwords pages.

And no there are no Cher poems in here but there will be some in an upcoming book of LA poems.

I'm releasing the book near Halloween because....everybody knows poetry makes great zombie food. It's good for the brains!!

I hope Cher Zombies enjoy it too!

 


Happy Halloween: Sonny & Cher Visit a Haunted House

Hhouse1What a great find this video was earlier in the year. I couldn't wait for Halloween to come around to celebrate it. You've probably seen footage of it before in Cher TV biopics (Cher's 60s dancing, Cher getting out of a car at a major 60s Hollywood event) but the middle of the video is far out! Sonny & Cher take a trip through an old-timey haunted house, and a pretty swell one at that.  

Hhouse2Cher expresses mock fear behind her fur coat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hhouse3Cher in a rendez-vous with a wolf-man. She sticks her tongue out at us.

 

 

 

 

 

Hhouse4Then at the end a 60s Halloween party with some wacky 60s dancing from not only a go-go dancer, but Cher herself and some humorously fancy footwork by Sonny too in his Beatle-cut pants and shoes.

Groovy!

Happy Halloween my little pretties!

 

 

 


Leaks, X-Factor, Val Kilmer and Cher's Sex Cult

ValkilmerUgh. So I said I wouldn't talk anymore about this phantom album of Cher's...but then things blew up last week when a version of a song called "Woman's World" was leaked.

It was 15 seconds of speedy dance Cher-shouting. It was all over for a day or so and has since evaporated.

Cher expressed displeasure.

Queerty.com pooh-pooed that saying Cher had no reason to be upset:

"Unfinished or not, this shit sounds amazing. There’s no better way to start your day/week/the rest of your life than a good ole-fashioned diva comeback single." http://www.queerty.com/cher-leak-womans-world-20121022/

Meanwhile, there's a rumor Cher has been signed to appear on the season finale of X-Factor on December 9. 

ChairAnd Cher tweeted a picture of herself and one-time boyfriend, Val Kilmer (above), after seeing him do his one-man show about Mark Twain called "Citizen Twain" at the Shakespeare Center of Los Angeles. Apparently he had to cancel his second of two shows due to a knee injury. Why didn't he just do Val Kilmer doing Hal Holbrook doing Mark Twain and perform from a chair.

By the way, Mark Twain is my patron saint. I did a photo shoot earlier this year (for an upcoming book) that was an homage to one of Twain's famous photographs:

CultLast but not least, one of the goofiest of Cher tabloid covers appeared this week, Cher Sex Cult Scandal! Torture, Brainwashing, Abuse...Stupid.

On the bright side, the tabloids are still hot for Cher.


Cher Hits One Million Twitter Followers

ChercherThere have been some posts in the last week floating out itty bitty tid-bits of news about Cher's upcoming album. I have itty-bitty-news-about-Cher's-album fatigue myself. So until the damn thing apparates itself into my hands, I am not going to engage.

Dear Cher album, I'll talk to you when you get here. Until then, I'm shunning you.

To read the latest Cher album gossip visit Cher World or Cher News.

Other Cher news last week touted the fact that she hit one-million twitter fans recently. This kind of sounded like a big deal and so I researched the larger twitter-verse to see if this was in fact a big dealio.

It is not.

Although it has me beat by about a million, give or take one or two, it is not in fact that significant. According to the stats at Twitaholic, Cher does not even crack the top 1000 tweeters for followers. Yes, that's right. One-thousand tweeters have more followers than Cher does. It looks like this:

Top five are:

  1. Lady Gaga Gaga (with 30-freakin-million)
  2. Justin Bieber (29 mill)
  3. Katy Perry (27 mill)
  4. Rihanna (26 mill)
  5. Britney Spears (really?) (21 mill)

Obama has 20 million. Those with over 10 million include: Taylor Swift (19), Shakira (18), YouTube (18), Kim Kardashian (16), Nicki Minaj (14), Oprah (14), Justin Timberlake (14), Ellen DeGeneres (14), Twitter itself (13), Ashton Kutcher (12), Eminem (12).

Other lady pop-singers/celebrities at the top (in the millions): J-Lo (12), Pink (11), Adele (10), Alica Keys (9), Paris Hilton (8), Mariah Carey (8), Kloe Kardashian (7), Avril Lavigne (6), Beyonce (6), Jessica Simpson (5).

Sadly, the only news service at the top is CNN Breaking News with 8 million. Bill Gates is the top business leader with 8 million and the top spiritual guru is the Dalai Lama with 5 million.

To break the top 1000, you need to have 1,161,806 or more followers. So although the press loves to follow Cher's tweets, she's not in the top stratosphere of tweetdom.

Maybe some day she will be "trending."

 


Why Does Cher Exist? An Intervention

CherfanclubDo you ever wonder why Cher exists? As a fan, does this silly question ever come up in your obsessed head?

There are many types of Cher fans. There's the casual fan, the unquestioning cult-member fan (Cher Zombie), the obsessed collector of Cher product (that would be me). Aside from the casual fan (and do they really count?), the other two can get a little crazy from time to time.

I know a few Cher collectors are getting a bit crazy due to all the delays in new Cher product. Get used to it; she won't be around forever. I hope her family doesn't go all Elvis on us after she's gone and continue to produce Cher lunch pails, Cher singing wall clocks and other facsimiles way into perpetuity.

And I also know some fans are aggrieved that she doesn't ever do their preferred material (I am guilty of this).

Things Cher has deprived the world of include:

  • a torch album
  • a torch tour
  • a country album
  • a Christmas album

Speaking for myself, I'm tired of Cher appearing in half-baked (half-funny) comedies. I'm dying to see her:

  • in a Western
  • playing a villain
  • playing a partial-villain
  • in some profound drama.

Collectors are a different kind of fan. Cher is not my messiah. So I feel I can critique the lazy crap (the video collection, the same song opening three tours, any given video commentary that craps out after 15 minutes).

That said: we all need to face the cold hard facts of life. Cher does not exist to be an object of art in our lives. She's got this thing we call free-agency.

The cold hard facts of life....like Porter Wagoner, who comes home from bowling to find his wife snuggled up on the couch...dressed in some refurbished-hotel bed-spread.

Porter



Cher Working on Mother's Day Special

I can't wait for this. Cher's mother's stories...the untold stories! This should be really good. Cher posted some pics from a recent shoot, which looks like it took place in one of her houses.

Chermomspecial

"Hello lovelies! The second day of shooting Mom's special. Yesterday - many interviews and photo shoots with the whole family until 10P.M. Today is more of the same"

I love that Cher posts twitter pics of herself with self-deprecating commentary. And I also love that she's bringing out the turquoise.

Cherposer

"What a poser! Lighting was interesting! Silly b*tch"

Stories and more pics:

   

Cher Watches X-Factor?

EllaSo the fact that Cher watched part of X-Factor is the most shocking piece of this story for me. Maybe someone on staff alerted her to the clip of Ella Henderson singing "Believe" from YouTube. In any case, Cher watched it. did she also see Adam Lambert's Hollywood Week version on American Idol?

 Ella Henderson's version can be seen here. It is pretty swell ballad version.

Cher said:

“Went on Utube 2 c young girl sing Believe!Tears came 2 my eyes! So Touching! a Great version of a Great Song.”

Okay...it was Utube after all. Then Ella said:

“I’m still pinching myself! To have the actual Cher tweet that she’d seen my performance was mind-blowing. “I’ve been smiling all day. It is quite frankly unbelievable. I can’t believe she cried.”

Adam's version was pretty good too. I think it serves this song to be slowed down to a dirge.

Stories:

 

Cher's Road Rage Against Birthers and Bicyclists

ChertheroadCher tweeted some news-hitting rage regarding Pacific Coast Highway bicyclists on September 30.

See the tweets here: http://twitchy.com/2012/09/30/cher-rants-about-pacific-coast-highway-bicyclists/

To be fair, PCH is a ridiculously windy and narrow road, with Malibu mansions hugging one side and their delivery/guest parking spots hugging the mountain on the other side. So if you need to constantly swerve around bikes, there's those yahoos running across the street, too. And those plebes cutting through David Geffen's yard to get to the free beach.

NOT MOTORCYCLES !!!!!!!
Fkng BICYCLES !!!!!!!

(Hey girl, those duplicate exclamation points take up your valuable twitter character count!!!!!!) I've cursed my share of motorbikes on LA though too (and for the same reason).

And this is just a post or two since we saw Cher peddling on a stationary bike for charity. Sigh.

The street above uses Cher's image to implore us all the share the road with bicycles. Cher should go there an spray a graffiti mustache on herself in protest.

Cher also tweeted on the Kansas Birther Hearings on September 15.

See the tweets here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/18/kansas-birther-cher-john-dean-twitter_n_1894057.html

The jist of it:

Several celebrities took to Twitter to weigh in on the decision of the state objections board to weigh President Barack Obama's eligibility to be on Kansas' presidential ballot in the wake of a challenge by a resident of Manhattan, Kan. The board voted unanimously Monday -- during a hearing dominated by birther queen Orly Taitz -- to drop the case after Joe Montgomery withdrew his objection.

Cher led off the fight on Friday when she posted several tweets highly critical of Kansas Republicans, including one calling them "beneath slime." The objections board is composed of three Republicans -- Secretary of State Kris Kobach, Lt. Gov. Jeff Colyer and Attorney General Derek Schmidt. The three voted unanimously on Thursday to delay a decision on Montgomery's objection pending more information from Hawaiian officials about Obama's birth certificate and noting that Obama's campaign did not attend the hearing.

The Wichita Eagle reported that Cher was not alone in tweeting about the birther hearing. Former Nixon White House counsel John Dean tweeted about the hearing on Friday, calling the state "nuts." And New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof suggested that the state is "stuck in the 19th century."

Sigh. Kansas.